Writers Helping Writers

I must start off by apologizing, as I have not been on to post a blog in quite some time. We had a bit of an upheaval late September with my husband having a stroke. He is just about fully recovered, but needless to say my writing was put on a hold for a bit.


With that said, I am excited about CRASHING HEARTS coming out in January. As I have been looking into different ways of promoting this, it come up time and time again how writers help writers.

I have recently just started putting together a blog tour to promote CRASHING HEARTS. In the process I have opened up my blog for guest bloggers to promote their own works. It’s an exciting process to reach out to other writers and invite them to guest on my blog. It’s open a whole new way to meet new authors.

So starting December 30th, my blog tour kicks off as a guest of Cynthia Woolf. Keep posted for other dates as they are filling in.

Join me on December 20th right here with Suzie Quint as she continues on her blog tour.

Don't Live With Regrets

My oldest daughter is now officially a resident of North Carolina. I listen to her enjoying her apartment, cooking for herself, working, going to school and I am filled with a pride that only a mother can have. She has worked through many adversaries and come out on top. She is hard working and someone I look up to.

As my other two children get ready to start high school, a junior and a freshman, I wonder where life will take them in the next few years. I see my other daughter, the junior, moving on and continuing with her education also. She is a lot like her older sister in the fact that she is driven and determined to succeed when she puts her mind to it. My son, well he is not a fan of school, I know that he will go far in his life.

I wish I had had the drive and determination for my life when I was their age. I spent my younger years not knowing what I wanted and when I did figure out what I wanted for my life, it took me years to gather the courage to finally doing it. That is when I started my journey as a writer.

Four and half short years after writing my first book, it will be released. I’m overwhelmed with emotions when I think of this release. This first book was therapeutic for me to write as, although it is fiction, a lot of emotion and obstacles that I had faced in my own life are portrayed in this book. In writing it through someone else's eyes, my heart healed and I was able to put a lot of regret behind me.

My new motto – Face life head on and don’t live with regrets. This motto I hope I can convey to my children as they pursue their life dreams whether it be as a speech/language pathologist, into forensics, playing basketball for a living, joining the Air Force or getting into the health field, my dream is for my children to pursue whatever desire they have wholeheartedly and without regret.

How many of us pursue our life desires this way? How long has it taken you to achieve something that has been a lifelong goal?

Walking For Breast Cancer

Once again my oldest daughter has undertaken the task of walking for the cure of breast cancer. Last year she walked for 3 days in Boston, MA. This year she has decided to walk it in Washington, DC.

Here is her message:

Please support me as I take an amazing journey in the fight to end breast cancer! The Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure™ is a 60-mile walk over the course of three days. Net proceeds from the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure™ are invested in breast cancer research and community programs.

I did this walk last year in Boston, MA and instantly became addicted. Every ounce of sweat and every bit of hard work is worth it! After months of fundraising, training, and hard work, it was all paid off after finishing the 60 miles! I have never felt to accomplished and doing something so great for an amazing cause! I can't wait to share this experience with my friend Brian Flowers this year in Washington DC in September! Thanks for your support.

Last year I got past my goal of $2300 and hope to pass my goal this year of $3000! Please visit my personal page, check it out, and donate!

Donate Here

Thanks in advance! :)


Every little bit helps. We have all been touched in someway by this disease whether it be family or friends.

Writer's Block

What is writer’s block? Is it truly something that happens or is it merely something we talk ourselves into believing. Writer’s block has afflicted me lately. However, the more I think about it, the more I throw aside the idea of writer’s blocker.

My thoughts are blocked from what I want to write. I have a solid plot. I have run through different scenes in my mind while I’m driving. However, when I open up my laptop my mind shuts down from what I know needs to be typed. Is that writer’s block or simply a procrastination technique?

Life gets in the way. We all know that. Not one of us lives the life that we paint in our books. I know I have used life as an excuse many times to not put the fingers to the keyboard. Life will never change – there will be stressors, crises, changes. A writer writes through them.

So for now I sit at the keyboard and if I can put all the words I want out there, I write partial thoughts. They will blossom fully as the story unfolds. The excuse of writer’s block has been banned from my vocabulary.

What about you? Do you believe in writer’s block? If so, how do you push through it?

Grandparents

I have written before about lives taking different stages. My husband and I are entering a new stage as we prepare to be grandparents for the first time. The gammet of emotions that we felt when we were first told -- from we're too young, to worry for our daughter, to excitement.

We had talked about being grandparents, yet had thought we had years to go before that thought became a reality. But as the days pass since being told, our excitement grows. My husband has decided he is too young for the title grandpa, and has researched names to be called, finally deciding upon Lolo. As for myself, I have looked, but haven't decided on what I would want to be called.

As you're children grow, you worry about them, but it is a totally different feeling to suddenly be worried about your grandchild. Although we are young, I look forward to fall when our new grandbaby arrives and we move into that next phase of life.

Feel free to let me know what you have called your parents, or if you are grandparents what you are called? Would love to hear the variety we have out there.

Trusting Your Instincts

Trusting your instincts. We all have gut instincts that tell us whether or not something feels right. Learning to trust those instincts can be difficult.

In my life I have found myself doubting my instincts, and then regretting, later finding out if I had gone with my gut instinct things would have been different, and better. Through the years after not trusting my instinct, I started doubting my judgment period. Wanting to put that behind me, I have resolved to start trusting my instincts. How can you start trusting instincts when past has proven you as not a good judge of what's right and wrong?

Hindsight is 20/20 they say and how true that is. Now entering a new phase in my life, I wonder if I can trust my instincts. I want to trust them when I feel that my life is getting better and better and I have to let down the walls and learn to trust others again. Is it that easy though? Not at all.

In my first manuscript, trusting someone with her heart, my heroine found was most difficult. After writing The End, I realized that allowing her to begin to trust the hero of the story, I found myself letting go of pieces of the walls surrounding my heart. As it was shattered in the near past, I realized that sometimes you don't trust your instincts and it brings more pain than is bearable.

So as I enter this new phase in my life, walls built up high around my heart, yet not letting go of the love of my life, I wonder if I can trust again. Can I allow those walls to crash down and can I allow my hero to help repair those shattered pieces. My instinct says yes. How well can I trust that instinct if in the past I have ignored it and regretted it.

If we can write happily ever after, why can't we live it? No, we can't write the hero to do exactly as we want, but can we write our life to be as free as conflict as possible and allow ourselves to be strong and instinctive. As parents we are instinctive on how to protect our children, yet with ourselves we don't always trust our instincts and instead shut ourselves away, or hurt people we love just to get the first hurt in thinking it will save us from being hurt. In the end it only hurts us more deeply than we could have imagined.

Renewed Goals

I just finished the Winter Writing Festival from the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood. It was a fabulous time with writing sprints, supportive writers and meeting new friends. Participating in a writing festival like this pushed me to get on my writing again, setting new goals and working towards them.

I find setting monthly goals more workable than the yearly goals. Short term goals have a light at the end, easier (for me) to fulfill, which in turn brings me a renewed sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

Upon finishing the WWF at the end of February, I was able to jump in with some writing friends to do an informal March Madness. Keeping each other accountable during these monthly goals/sprints makes me more aware of my goals and somehow the competitiveness in my kicks in and the writing pours out.

So my goal for March -- finish my current novel Mirrored Deception. I have already started the process of editing with my critique group, which also gives me a push to finish it as they want to know more of what is going on, and what will happen next.

What are you March goals -- writing or just life related?

Cabin Fever

I have lived in New England all my life and yet winter is not my favorite season. In fact, I absolutely hate the snow. I'm not an outdoor person, especially in winter, and do everything I can to avoid going out in the terrible white stuff.

This winter we have been bombarded with snowstorms, week after week. Awakening this morning to yet another snowstorm, I am starting to feel the walls close in on me. The driveway gets narrower and narrower with no place to put the newly fallen snow. I can't even get to my front door with the amount of snow we have.

I long to get away to someplace warm and tropical. A beach to lie on, soaking up the sun. Instead I sit inside and try to write. At least my characters can enjoy the sun and ocean, the warmth of a summer season, or the crispness of fall.

I long for the feel of warm sand under my feet as I listen to the waves lapping the beach. A few years ago my kids gave me a picture of the ocean, that when turned on has the sound of waves. This picture soothes my cabin fever.

Do you have a favorite season? Or a season that makes you just want to climb the walls?

Moving Forward

Changes in our lives come in many ways. I sit here this morning thinking about some changes my son is going through. He just played his last basketball season of his middle school life. They were undefeated through the season and the tournament, taking first place. His love of basketball is amazing for me to watch. He has spent years perfecting the game, spending hours at practice, open gym and outside in our yard shooting -- even in the middle of winter. He works hard at this love he has and it shows. As he transitions to high school and looks forward to his high school basketball career I notice the similarities we have.

As a new writer, I started with taking classes to learn the profession. The rights, the wrongs and the in between. As my writing progressed, the more I was compelled to "practice" and increased my efforts to learn the craft. Rejection after rejection spurred me on to perfect my love. When the email came that my first novel had sold, it projected me into a new phase of this profession. Continuing to write, working with critique partners, moving more in to social media and getting my name out there with a web page took on new meaning.

Our lives change daily. Decisions we make change us. Circumstances in our lives change us. I look at the changes I have been through, some with awe that I made it through and some with regret of the choices I made, but I look at the course my life is taking with excitement and a renewed love for my writing.

Welcome the changes in your life and enjoy the ride.

My Favorite Time

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. Decorating the tree with family around, buying presents for your loved ones with anticipation of seeing their faces upon opening said gifts, baking, Christmas movies and music.....I could go on and on.

This year is a little different for me. My oldest daughter is away at college, therefore not home to help decorate the tree. Due to several financial issues, the gift buying is minimal. We did get the tree decorated and some holiday baking started. The Christmas movies have been on nightly and music playing on my trek back and forth to my day job.

However, as I reflect on past years and what has been important to me through the holidays, I struggle this year due to the family not being together. This past year has been a tough year for my family with separation, financial issues, etc. As I reflect on what's important, I realize I don't care about the gifts, even the holiday baking, movies, music. The one thing that is most important to me is having my family together for this occasion. To be surrounded by ones you love is the magic of the season. A husband holding you close as you want kids open presents, kids glowing because of the fun. It's infectious. I love seeing my children anxiously awaiting a sibling to open a gift from them, just dying to see if they are thrilled with it.

In our household for as long as I can remember Christmas starts at anytime after two a.m. Yes, we actually get up at two a.m. and start opening presents. Santa is usually very generous in bringing a family movie to watch when the presents are done, and then breakfast with the grandparents starts the process all over again.

Yes, Christmas is my favorite time of the year and this year all I want for Christmas is for my family to be together, (and maybe a netbook for my writing.)

The Email

I have heard people talk about the thrill of "the call". A writer can only imagine that moment, until it happens.

This past week I received "the email" that was offering me a contract on my first manuscript. I was at my day job and could hardly stay seated when all I wanted to do was jump up and tell everyone that would listen -- and even those that wouldn't. A feeling of satisfaction of something well done -- must be well done if a publisher wants it, right? A feeling of pride that I had produced this, a feeling of overwhelming amazement that this was happening to me.

As I punched out the number to my husband's cell phone, the first to tell, I couldn't wait for him to pick up. The words "they offered me a contract" came out and he immediately knew what I was talking about. My husband has been my biggest supporter and fan through the waiting process and writing process. Who else would be the perfect one to share the news with first?

Two days later, I'm still flying from the realization that I'm going to be a published author. Sharing the news with other authors is rewarding as they know the hardness and reality of rejections and unsureness as we send out our babies to agents or publishers. Tell me about your "call/email".

Heroes

Who is your hero? As I was a kid, my daddy was my hero. He could do anything, make anything better. Okay, he's still my hero. Regardless of how old I have gotten, my dad can still make things better with just a smile, a hug or just a cup of coffee and a chat.

As my children grow, I wonder who their heroes are. My oldest daughter in her freshman year at college states her younger brother is her hero. He has inspired her to go into the field of speech and language pathology with his hard work to overcome, and live a normal (whatever normal is) life with his autism. My son has worked hard to overcome his nonverbal state. He learned sign language in order to communicate with us, and then after the age of three started to verbalize. He spent a lot of hard work on occupational therapy to control his sensory overload.

When I wrote my first book, my hero in the book was very similar to another one of my heroes -- my husband. The hero in my story was kindhearted, loving and had a quiet strength about him. This is a man that is supportive, encouraging and just picks you up when you are down. My first book wouldn't have been written without that support and encouragement from my husband.

So whether you write, or are a reader, what is your ideal hero? Or who is your real life hero? What makes a hero? Hard work and perseverance, or is it someone that is just always there?

We all need heroes in our lives, and we all need to strive to be a hero in someone else's life.

Motivation?

What happens when we have our feet pulled out from under us? I have recently come back from a hiatus from writing as personal crisis in the family took all motivation from me to be involved in anything writer related. No words flowed onto the empty screen, no desire to communicate with my writer friends. Life suddenly became hollow and undesirable. How do we allow personal circumstances not to deter us from writing?

When life gets in the way, we easily push the writing aside. Yet we carry on at our day jobs as a necessity. Days you don’t want to work, you force yourself out of bed and into the office just because that is where the paycheck comes from. When does the writing become top priority in your life? How do you break through the personal circumstances and push out the story anyway? So much emotion can come from your personal circumstances to make your story enriched. But the idea of making it actual happen can be fear gripping. Life can push you on and motivate you or it can paralyze you.

Pushing through my fear this past week, I was able to finally put words to empty screen after three months of complete emptiness. Writing is something I love, yet couldn’t motivate myself to do it because I lost my biggest supporter of my writing. Pushing through that fear was freeing. Showing up for a writer’s meeting locally was another motivator. What motivated me to continue? Writer friends that continued to send me emails, messages encouraging me to continue.

Where do you find your motivation when it feels hollow and empty?

Post Mother's Day Thoughts

As we travel through life, our journeys can take us in numerous directions. In my journey now I wear many hats -- medical secretary, mom, wife, writer, housekeeper, counselor, cook just to name a few. Some of these jobs are a pleasure while other I could do without.

The most rewarding job I have ever had is being a mom. Rewards are bountiful when the children are little and come in forms of flowers picked from the yard (mostly dandelions), drawn pictures hanging on the refrigerator, or what is more rewarding than hearing a nonverbal child say "I love you" for the first time.

As children grow, rewards come in other ways. Rewards of a teenager wanting to spend time with me, shopping or sharing my love for reading and attending a book signing for the first time. Rewards of being shared with teenage troubles and really wanting my advice.

My oldest daughter recently went on her senior class trip to NYC. This is a child that is preparing to move away next year for college - yet, how my heart warms when she called just to "share" aspects of her trip with me that couldn't wait until she got home.

Life is short. I look back over my children's years of growth and don't regret one moment of putting off housework to play with my kids when they were little. I don't regret putting them high on the priority list. Would I have loved to throw myself into a writing career when the kids were little? Definitely. But at that time, my priorities required me to put my kids first. Two young girls and an autistic son. Do I regret not writing sooner? Not at all.

Relationships are what you make of them. I have enjoyed my children through every aspect of their lives thus far. I look forward to enjoying them as they enter adulthood and make their own choices.

Being a mom is the most rewarding job I have had ever had.

Putting Aside Disappointment

Disappointment comes in waves. This week it feels like I'm drowning in them between life issues that have come up and then Friday night receiving yet another rejection for my book. If not for the major kick in the butt from a writer friend of mine, I would give up completely. So I continue on in my endeavor of getting published.

With new resolve, I have decided to move on to book #2, which is a quarter of the way completed and dive into it once more. In researching cost of breast cancer treatment, I realize how important this walk my daughter is doing for the cure of breast cancer. So many people are uninsured, or have very limited insurance, and the costs of treatment for breast cancer are staggering. We need to take a step back, dig down if we can and contribute to the cause. Breast cancer has touched my life through my great aunt and my grandmother. Have you been touched by this disease either through a family member or a close friend?

I was here. It's such an appropriate song for all of us to stand up and make a difference whether it is for something such as breast cancer or if it is just touching other peoples lives.

I urge you to make a difference and donate if possible to this cause here.

So I put aside my disappointment in yet another rejection and move on in my writing. In learning more of the different aspects of this terrible disease, I urge you to help, if you can, to find a cure.

I Was Here

I was here. This has become the theme song for my daughter. She's 18 now and has decided she wants to touch people lives in a way that makes a real difference. High expectations? I don't think so. Alexa has always been a very kind hearted child. Her newest endeavor is a three day walk for a cure for breast cancer in Boston, MA in July. This is a 60 mile walk over the course of three days, 20 miles a day, which requires each participant to raise $2,300 in sponsors.

Having a grandmother and a great aunt who both had breast cancer, I whole heartedly support her in this endeavor. How many woman have been touched by this disease in one way or another either by having it themselves or having a loved one be inflicted. As I watch Alexa train for this walking up to 6 miles a day at this point, with blisters on her heels, I am amazed at her determination to touch someone's life.

Every day I watch her I am learning a lesson of the person I should be, and want to be. How often do we get caught up in our own lives with all the stress, mundane tasks, and just every day life, that we just don't give a thought to things of this nature.

I ask any of you that may feel the desire to help to donate towards Alexa's goal to help find the cure for breast cancer. Donations can be made under Alexa Davis' name here.

I thank all of you that may contribute to such a worthy cause. My hope is with this post we will all endeavor to touch someone's life through our own everyday life.

Compassion

Where do you learn compassion from? As a child my parents tried to teach compassion to us, teaching us to do the right thing. Yet as we grow and life circumstances change our view on things, compassion sometimes isn't foremost in our mind. What has hit me in the last few days is that there is always a lesson we can learn from our children. The other night at the dinner table, my oldest daughter asked if a friend of hers could spend the night at our house. Apparently he had left his mom's house and was sleeping in his car.

Now I'm not against taking kids in -- however, I do question why they have left their house and what is going on with them. My household has rigid rules and yet I find that we always have a lot of extra kids around just to hang out. After a lengthy discussion with my daughter, we discussed how years ago she had stood by this same friend when he was removed from his mom's house due to abuse from his brother. She continued their friendship when he moved out of state and when he finally came back home. Now as they are seniors she still longs to take care of people. She has always had a kind heart.

So agreeing, we have a visitor for the night and again the next night. I look at my children, thinking that something right must have been instilled in them. They know the right thing to do and how to be a good friend to someone.

What lessons do you learn from your children or even young adults you may know? Do we take this lessons for granted or do we allow them to touch our lives, allowing ourselves to learn and grow in our own lives.

Separation Anxiety

We have two dogs in our house -- a greyhound and a springer spaniel. The springer spaniel, whose name is Domino, but is more fondly called Fats Domino due to his overweight nature has not adjusted well to me going to work outside of the house. When I closed my transcription business last year and sought work outside the house, Domino became very needy after being alone with Bay (the greyhound) all day.

Yesterday Domino was having a terrible time with the wind blowing outside and sat on the top stair where we have a gait across so he can't wake up the kids in the morning. He cried and barked. When my oldest daughter got up, he followed her downstairs to the kitchen while she got her breakfast and then trailed after her when she went to the living room. Later that day after the girls got home from school, Domino decided that he needed to be on the bottom shelf of the computer that my daughter was using. We have decided the poor thing is suffering from separation anxiety.

Domino needless to say has become very needy demanding attention all evening. Anyone else have pets that suffer from separation anxiety?

Growing Up

I picked up my daughter last night from her two week trip to California. Now she is 18 and preparing for college in the fall and the one thing that struck me is how grown up she is. As I listened to her talk about her trip and how much she hates New Hampshire and the cold weather, I realized my daughter is a young woman now, not my little girl. Yes, in a lot of aspects she will always be my little girl. She still makes me smile with her way of joking that just teases you out of a blue mood.

As we talked about colleges and when she wants to go I feel a sense of pride. She has grown into a responsible adult with a good head on her shoulders. I feel confident as she goes out into the world that she will succeed at whatever she puts her mind too. Am I sad to see her go? Of course, but I also overwhelming good about her going. She's ready to leave the nest.

Does that make me a bad mother for telling her to go to the college furthest away because I know she is ready? I had always heard how kids going away to college is so hard and you don't want them to go, yet to me it seems such like a natural process.

I enjoyed my kids immensely when they were little, and I must admit I enjoy my teenage kids. I'm extremely blessed to have children that don't give me major problems.

So instead of tears in my eyes from loss as my daughter prepares for college, I have tears from pride and joy at seeing grown into the young woman she is. Ren -- You will go far!!

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

I have been very lax about posting a blog lately and I apologize. Today, though, it hit me as I was driving home from the airport. I had just left my 18 year old who is leaving for California for two weeks. She was standing in line to go through security when she told me she was so nervous she was shaking, yet knew how much fun she was going to have.

As I drove home I thought about my daughter and all that she has done this past year. In September she decided to participate in Miss Teen NH because it was simply something she had never done and had decided she was going to try new things her senior year. That first morning of the weekend of the pageant she told me never to let her do it again because it was way too far out of her comfort zone. At the end of the weekend, she couldn't wait to do it again. She had made tons of new friends, grew more confident and just realized that she could succeed at whatever she wanted if she stepped outside of her comfort zone.

Working through edits, and staring at pages that need to be rewritten, I realize I need to take a lesson from my daughter and step out of my comfort zone and make my heart's desire a realty -- to be a published author. So with renewed motivation, and determination, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and putting new energy into my writing.

What do you desire to do that requires stepping out of your comfort zone?